I haven't read any poetry in a long time. I used to write poetry as a teenager (who hasn't?), and I had a period in my life, when I liked poetry o lot, but then life happen (real life, as in responsibilities), and I no longer had time for what I liked.
At first I was a bit afraid, that I would read the poems, but not get the meaning. After all, most poems have hidden messages, which regular people often don't get, but this was not the case. I am impressed how Chitra Divakaruni is able to write such magic using plain, easy language. It's not so much the words, but the way she puts them together. Reading the poems I felt like I was there somewhere in the south Asia, hiding and watching all those stories happen in front of me.
In "Sudha's Story" I felt so sorry for the young woman. She is full of life, energetic, a college student, pretty, great dancer. It seems like her life could be any young woman's life, but then she is forced to get married, and it's not what I would call normal or ordinary. I am so upset at her parents for letting her just leave her life behind, and go with this unknown man, who may be rich, or powerful in a way, but he is a stranger. Why don't they get to know him better first? Why don't they have her get to know him? I know, it's the custom. It's still done today. But this is their daughter, full of potential, and they should be in her corner instead of thinking how they can benefit from this. They want people to envy them, but they don't want their child to be happy. I liked one comparison most of all. In the beginning she's dancing, and her braided long her is a symbol of her freedom, and then after she gets married, her husband puts that braid around her neck - like a leash - and tells her, that now she will only dance for him.
The moment she marries this strange man is the moment she has no identity of her own anymore. He's her master, she is nothing more than a slave. I couldn't stand the way he was upset about her being pregnant with a girl. It was his own child, but I guess he was not capable of loving anyone, including his own child.
The Taj Mahal trip was also a big disaster. The place is a symbol of love that never dies. His love for his wife never existed, he liked her looks, the way she danced, like some of us go shopping and pick something they like - an object, a pretty dress. She was an object.
"Nargis' Toilette" - this poem made me think about women, who are made to wear burkahs or who choose to do it, but as the poet says, they look like black candles. There's fire, and life under that thing, but a woman is not able to show it. All women in one way or another take care of themselves, but if you have to cover yourself top to bottom, what's the point of doing it. Let's say you do it for yourself, which in part is true - after all I don't dress and put make up on for other people as much as I do it for me, just to feel well...but on the other hand I don't have to cover myself before I leave the house. This is an issue. I am against women wearing burkahs, but who am I to tell women, who want to do it, that it's wrong, or that they are in a way oppressed. What I found really sad is the part that in a way the young woman is compared to a bird in a mirrored cage. She is also alone in the world, like all the women in her situation. She can count on herself. The family is already working on her arranged marriage. She will see her husband for the first time in a mirror, a day of her wedding. I cannot imagine how it would feel if I would be in her situation. My grandparents had an arranged marriage, and what a disaster that was. My grandma could have said no, but she didn't. They hated each other till the day my grandpa passed away. I cannot imagine living like this, because of family obligations or religion.
"Gouri Mashima" describes a life of a young bride, who if forced to leave her family and to move in with her husband's family. Her life is extremely hard, she is the youngest in the new family, the last to eat, the hardest working. She cannot give her husband children (no matter what the reason is, always the women are blamed), so her status in the family is even lower, she is an outcast. Her life wasn't always like that, she used to have a happy life, playing with her cousins, swimming, just a regular life any kid around the world may have. She is a good person, but the family doesn't "rate her" based on who she is, they look at what she brings to the table in terms of status, or children. She may not have her own children, but how good she takes care of the other children in the family. She can only be happy in her dreams and through the stories she tells the children.
"All in My Head" tells us a story of a mother and a daughter, who sleep in one bed, and are not able to communicate, even if they are close to each other, and care for one another. The mother cries at night, but she never explains to her daughter why. The daughter has a hard time dealing with her mother's cries, to the point, that she hurts herself. One day she decides to ask her mother about this during the day, when they were working together in the kitchen. Her mother gets upset, and explains nothing. The child explains it to herself the only way she can, she thinks she may be imagining things. That also tells the child, that the sexual abuse she sometimes suffers at night may all be in her head. I think the author wants to let the reader know, that a mother's responsibility is to be there for her children, and especially for her daughters. The mother probably cries because she knows the daughter is abused, but she won't help her, explain to her how wrong it is. The daughter goes on assuming it's normal, and a part of her imagination. It will hurt her in a long run. We can assume this.
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